Self esteem

Off topic → Other → Self esteem

I don’t have much, I’m a shy, nearly 13 years old. I have a many hobbies like contact juggling, speed stacking and cardistry. Those are my main hobbies, I have a few more, but lots of people do those other hobbies. I have talents, but I hate being in front of my class or even 5 people. I perform terribly in front of people. I have many friends, but I’m not sure how many are real. I have 1 finite best friend and one I am unsure of. One of my friends is super nice and friendly when it’s just him and I, but when other friends come he becomes quite rude, he’s quite short. I don’t know what to do, I’m also a lazy genius with no life.

Can anyone help? (Silently waits for Nyx to comment a fake help number leading to myself being rick rolled) I don’t care what you comment really, Critcizing me for what I should do, helps.

Thanks for reading my short story about my useless life!

Well, I only know one person who is interested in cardistry, but he’s in gr.9 rn, so I can’t really talk to him much:/

I was actually in the same place as you and I did one thing: Stopped caring what people thought about me and just do what you want :P

This might not help, but this is what helped me.

Self-deprecating humour works for me, but often it just makes people more miserable. Also, if you want to show people your hobbies, maybe film yourself so you can get it right and not be embarrassed?

As for your friend issue, I have totally been there. I had one friend for a few years in primary school but he turned out to be a complete control freak slash asshole, and after that I got on with the new kid but only really because we were both wimpy as shit and nobody else wanted to associate with us. Of course, you’re 13, so out of primary school, but I just finished year 9 and only now am sure I have some real friends. Still a small group, but I like it that way.

Maybe your hobbies could gain you friends if you looked for people that are also interested? Keep in mind that maybe they are a little obscure for that, though. Are you into cubing? Barry and I bonded over that and kind of ended up getting everyone else into it incidentally. You never know where that could go for you!

Also, if you are a “lazy genius” like you said, I cannot recommend anything better than finding ways to incorporate studying into your life in a more ‘fun’ way. Get into good habits as soon as you can! Duolingo has been fantastic motivation in my case, for example. Find what works for you and run with it - the first time I ever properly revised was for my end of year exams this last academic year… it was an experience. The reason for that is that I can and do achieve high grades without it, but if I want to do well in the increasingly difficult GCSEs and A Levels, I’m going to have to step up my game and I would rather take small steps than one big leap that I might miss.

Apologies for foisting my life story upon you, I just hope that I can help in some way :)

I’ve had the same, all you need to do is the things you dont want to do. Thats pretty much how i got over it

Pretty much what Burger said, aaand

You have to overcome yourself and yes, that is hard. Somewhat what PJ said, know when to take things seriously and when to have a good laugh about it, know how to make a “little fun of yourself”. Not caring is a good thing too, just like Futsy mentioned. When you care about things too much it just gets harder and harder caring about things you actually need to care. You said you have talents - that’s a good thing. You need to find more positive things about yourself and even though showing off to others is hard for you, you have to learn to do it. Knowing how to express yourself is a valuable thing. Try exercising. I know it may sound weird, but it helped for me personally.

I have a few more, but lots of people do those other hobbies

Lots of people, but not everyone. You are doing it too. You don’t have to hide yourself behind others.

I’m not a psychologist, and it may be hard for me to explain things, but I’ve been there myself, hope it’s something for you.

Wish you the best.

Are you into cubing?

Sorta, I also do alot of puzzles. I have a rounded 3x3, it’s not very good, and I still gotta learn it. Two of my friends are into cubing, one of their records is 8.440, I can’t evan xD.

Try exercising. I know it may sound weird, but it helped for me personally.

I don’t wokrout or anything, but I am quite fit and a fast runner. I alternate between soccer/football and baseball right now.

MintyEdit: Merged post

I’m glad to say that I feel a lot better. This advice is helping me a lot, thank you guys! I’m still shy, but I have lots of friends and I stand a little taller.